"Answer me when i call to you, O my righteous God. Give me relief from my distress;
be merciful to me and hear my prayer.... the Lord will hear when i call to him."
Psalm 4: 1-3

my heart is so sad. one of sixth grade girls is going through alot.

she was adopted from Indonesia (i think thats how you spell it) at the age of 5.
as a young child she was exposed to things i cant even fully understand. even though she was so young there were things that were just embedded inside of her.

to add some things on top of that she is feeling alot of pressure.
pressure from friends at school, from TV shows, and from music.
it makes me so angry and so sad all at the same time. i want to meet the people who write the lyrics to the stupid songs and put those stupid TV shows on air.
they tell young people sex is ok. if you get pregnant there arnt REAL consequences.
it says lets change the world! but lets make pot legal! they say being gay is OK even God thinks its ok! they say dont do drugs, but they portray them to be cool.

my brothers young friend whos is in middle school texted me a couple of months ago.
she was completed heart broken, she felt confused, unworthy, disgusting, and dirty at least those were the words she used to describe herself. the boy I HAVE TO SIT BY EVERY DAY had sex with her. convinced her that he loved her and then took her virginity and then made fun of her and left her without a word. A 17 YEAR OLD BOY HAD SEX WITH A 12 YEAR OLD GIRL! i hate him. my eyes are tearing up i hate him so much. where were her parents?! where was her older brother?! why wasnt anyone there to protect her?
i cant even begin to understand it.

this little girl in my group has been stealing things. some of that comes from the things she went through as a young child, but it also comes from the pressures she has been experiencing.


i dont know what else to say expect that my heart is so sad. for her mother, and family, and esp for her. my heart is so sad for all of my sixth graders. for all children everywhere. i cant help but cry as i write this. sometimes i just dont get it. i wish i could understand why God would let these children get hurt.
but we wont ever understand, not yet anyways.
this is way we neeed him.

"Out of the depths i cry to you, O lord;
O Lord hear my voice. Let your ears be attentive to my cry for mercy."

"i love O Lord!" Psalms 18:1

God i trust you, God i love you. i know you are here and i know you love them all so dearly. even though i dont understand any of it at all i trust you. you know what your doing. you know what will happen in the end. please use me in anyway you want. i am yours, my life is yours. i love you i love you i love you

now i just want to worship you